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Thursday, January 02, 2003

Good Grief! Being disjointed from one's head via cold virus is suuuuuuch lovely experience! And, as you can tell, it certainly effects my normally nonsensical ramblings, as well as my common sense...

I just posted myself on, I figured that I might as well spread the Gunman goodness as far as possible! The main difference between HMWIT and HON is that if folks actually find your picture interesting on HON they can send you a message! (Scary stuff indeed!)

All this Internet voting madness brings up an interesting parallel in my head, as I can't help but imagine some grim dystopian future where life and death decisions are made by a generation of permanently "wired" Homo sapiens cyborg: "Your LifeOrDeath.fate voting average is 3.2 over 16,237,230,125 votes, this rating is not high enough to achieve continued existence, please stand by for termination sequence, thank you and have a nice day."

Hmmmm, head starting to feel light, either I've forgotten to eat again or these pesky virii are trying to give me a run for my money! I better go try eating something before dunking my sinuses in a lovely, but unnecessary chemical bath, catch ya later folks!

posted by Kusari 1:48 PM

In an attempt to remember to post on a more frequent basis, here's a couple of quick snippets…

My personal choice for the ladies that should be Number 1 and Number 2 on HMWIT. (7.9 and 7.5 beers respectively! Oi Vay!)


A really cool artist I found on FtJ.

posted by Kusari 12:56 PM

My Chaos-Sense™ informs me that right now is the perfect time to whip up another issue of The Lonely Gunman! (probably something to do with the fact that I’m feeling half-displaced from my mind due to the lovely head cold my father gave me as a belated x-mas gift!)

It’s been a rather strange few days with the turning of the year… 2002 was the last palindromic year that I’m likely to see in my lifetime (although, one never knows! 2112 here I come!), but I’m pretty excited about 2003, being the first “5” year numerologically since 1994.

Fives have always been close to my heart, considering that my “birth number” is 5 and that my father specifically designed my name around the number according to some obscure rituals found a long forgotten tome (Get your head out of the mythos! It wasn’t The Necronomicon!), it’s hard not to have some kind of connection to this rather interesting number.

Even so, I was rather bored on New Year’s Eve, so a buddy sent me one of his favourite time wasting sites: How Many Would it Take?.com. The concept is simple: folks upload pictures of themselves, then other (discriminating) folks vote on how many beers they’d need to drink before they thought the person in the photo was hot (fortunately the photos are sorted by gender, which comes in handy if you are uninterested in folks of the opposite or same gender).

It turns out that the site was rather addictive (just one more vote! just one more! pleeeeeease?) with several thousand random pictures to vote on. After a while you may start to notice trends, such as ladies with the lowest beer rating also have the lowest amount of clothing on in their photos. Or the fact that the top rated ladies are all in the 6 to 7 beer rating, whereas the top rated males quickly ascend from the 6 beer range to hit the Teens by #4 of the "Top 10". (Doesn't that make all you guys feel good?)

The most interesting trend that I noted was that for at least 80% of the votes which I cast, I was at least ten beers or greater off the average vote. The only thing that I could figure was that my taste in ladies must be quite different than the Internet average or something!

Getting caught up in the voting melee, I simply couldn’t resist uploading a picture of myself. The last time I checked my rating was at 13.5 beers! Yowzers! That means I don’t even have to haul an entire two-four around to get mondo chick attention! (Ya, Right!)

A couple of the pictures from HMWIT were watermarked with another tempting URL:, which actually turned out to be a more sophisticated version of HMWIT, but with the twist of promoting itself as a match making service. Normally this wouldn’t have caught my attention (as we’re proved in recent issues, I’m far from prepared for the modern “dating scene) however, they as had a section where folks could post their art for judgement, I decided to poke around a bit.

I couldn’t resist setting up an account and uploading some of my digital works, which will hopefully be approved and up shortly (gotta love censorship!).

The results should prove interesting, as I’m always curious about what people think of my art. It’s not a matter of caring what they think, but, the idea behind what I do is to make people think, so if they’re motivated enough to leave feedback it means that I’ve done my job in making them think whether that feedback is positive or negative.

It was interesting to note that the art part of the site wasn’t linked to the matchmaking part (I suppose that not many folks are interested in dating freak artists! or maybe the thought of dealing with people would just scare away all the potential art posters!), so I decided to check out that part as well.

One of the services that FtJ links to is called Human for Sale, which is a fun little test which shows what your value would be if you were sold on the "open human market". While obviously an excuse to plague you with advertisements (Including a Pop-Up Ad for Pop-Up Eliminator! I could have choked on the irony over that little twist!) and collect demographic information, I decided to take the test anyway, as I could always use some spare cash.

It turns out I’m worth a whopping $2,435,950.00! Not too shabby (Especially in real amerikanski bucks! That must be about 5 trillion smackers canuckian!) when the average is a mere $1,813,978.00! Looks like it may be time to start accepting bids!

Anyhow, we’ll see how it goes with FtJ and the art, I’m hoping that there won’t be any complications with the watermarks on the art, as I really don’t feel like redoing them (or posting them for that matter) without an indication of where they came from. I couldn’t find anything off-hand in their posting regulations against it, so I’ll keep my fingers crossed.

I’ll be leaving the matchmaking side of things be for the moment, not that I don’t mind new email pals, however, these forms where you have to describe yourself totally freak me out! What am I supposed to write about myself (in less than 500 characters):

Cynical, Surreal, Infidel, Dada, Nihilistic, Erisian, Paradoxical, Cryptic, Heathen, Mischievous, Independent, Emotive, Heretic, Focused, Imaginative, Passionate, Incongruous, Bewildering, Resplendent, Ironic, Honest, Utilitarian, Creative, Disjointed, Practical, Blasphemer, Honourable, Visceral, Irreverent, Freethinker, Splendiferous, Discordian, Barbarian, Speculative, Inquisitive, Unorthodox, Whimsical, Esoteric, Abstrusely Profound (not to mention long-winded) Somewhat-Hairy Canuckian Sasquatch?

Somehow I think that would go over like lead balloons on Bastille Day…

Ok, that’s it for this all numbers issue of the Lonely Gunman! Be sure to tune in next time on the same Gunman Channel at the same Gunman Time! (Or the next time I remember to post!)

posted by Kusari 2:09 AM

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